One year in....

For this whole year, which brought many changes, I have transmitted the Love Energy into this Exchange every single day for at least 12 minutes at a time. And I have done Kriya Yoga every day. This is the first time in my life that I have made a resolution to do certain things, and then done them. 11 more years to go!!!!

Transcendent Self-Love

Today, I began with a round of 108 Transcendent Self-Love Mantras that I was doing last year. I will do 125,000, starting today, along with the Gayatri Mantra, for the next year. I will do as many as possible for the next year.

Not only will I repeat this QUANTUM AFFIRMATION over 129,600 times, But I will vibrate it. I will feel it. I will broadcast it through my cells. I will transmit Universal Life Force Energy into it for the immediate benefit of all who repeat it. At least 129,600 times - but as many as possible for the next year.

How does this relate to my Gayatri Practice? To this Exchange?

I thought about just waiting, finishing my 125,000 Gayatri Mantra journey, then start the TSL journey. But why wait?

Well, this Mantra is in the book, so I have been bathing it in Universal Energy for this whole year.

As far as the Gayatri Mantra goes, I am finding them to be very complimentary. The Gayatri Mantra can be used to charge other affirmations, sounds, or to help bring them to manifestation. What I do is, repeat the TSL Mantra once before, and once after a round of 108 Gayatri's. And repeat the Gayatri once before, and once after, 108 TSL Mantras. The Light that is unleashed during the Gayatri recitations help to calm, dissolve, and transmute any goop that arises during my TSL recitations.

I feel such an urgency in intensifying my spiritual efforts, for myself and this planet.

How can I serve You, Divine Mother

The times i have gone
to the center

of my sincerity

and asked the Divine Mother:

How can I serve Thee?

The reply
always

comes echoing back:

Love yourself as deeply and completely
As I have always loved you,

As the Great Ones whom I have sent
again and again throughout the ages
love you.

Then you can truly say
that you love Me
that you
serve
Me.

Day 329

I am so grateful that for all of 2010, I haven't missed a day of transmitting Love/Energy into the quantum space of this Exchange.
It is reall exciting to me because so many times in the past I have started stuff and never followed through.

Here lately, I have been changing the Gayatri Mantra and sending that Energy into this Exchange. On most days I hold the book on my lap and chant aa round of 108 Mantras and intend that my hands are speakers and the Mantra is flowing into all contained in this Exchange. And I have really been feeling the Energy flow more intensely. It's like I have upped th ante, so to speak.

I have done 73 official rounds of the Gayatri over a 3 week period. 7,884 repetitions/vibrations. I am feeling a deepening of my spiritual awareness like never before. I am on my way to 125,000 repetitions!


This year has also proven, so far, to be successful as far as Kriya Yoga goes. I have not missed a day of doing these ancient breaths every day. That feels fantastic. I am feeling so much closer to God and the Divine. It is indescribable, and it has just begun.

Wake up!

If this life is a dream – just like the Great Ones of all religions tell me – if this is true, then I go to the Dreamkeeper, and demand: WAKE ME! I am tired of dreaming, tired of sleeping, for a huge part of me knows that sleep and dreams will never give the soul any true REST. Only waking can do that.

My little container

I hold the cup of my heart

up

to the heavens within

the inside

of the inside

of my heart, mind, body, soul, energy…

and I drink

oh God

do I drink.

Fill me, Oh God

of Gods

Fill me, Oh Goddess of all

Goddesses

of All,

of All.

Fill me so sweetly, so gently

so powerfully that my little container

disappears.

Day 316 - Grateful

I am very grateful to have transmitted Universal Energy into the quantum pages of this Life-Force Energy Exchange for 316 days in a row. That is really awesome. I am feeling more and more awake on a spiritual level. There have been so many times this year that all I could do was just place my hands on the Exchange, and ask that the Divine Love flow. It has definitely been worth it.

I decided to can my Godaddy website, because for a year it has just sat there, and everything I need to communicate, I can do on this blog.

I am really excited to have begun a Gayatri Chanting Marathon over the course of one year. I am up to 2,376 official mantras (official, meaning with my mala, or counting them) This doesn't count the ones that I chant outside of the rounds of 108.

It is my intention that the Energy and Light within this Mantra, as I chant, flow directly into this Exchange, and directly into all who are now, or will ever be contained here for their highest and greatest good. May each Mantra increase the vibration of this Exchange.

~~

My 12 year commitment remains strong. I am really glad I have made it almost one year!

Day 255

With a deep breath
a really long slow deep breath in
I open the cobwebs of my cells and atoms
and let go
release finally and completely
the illusion
the burden
the heaviness
the stories
of being a frail, limited physical body.
At the most expanded place of my inhaling breath
I witness the body with love
And I realize myself as the Omnipresent
Bird of Flight.

As I release the breath
I simultaneously drop body consciousness and fill the body with light.

As I feel the love I am
tears well
up.

These tears are God's messages
telling me that S/He is
real.

They are all the proof I need.

~~

It's day 255. Haven't missed a day yet of transmitting Universal Love/Energy into the Exchange. Haven't missed a day yet of doing my spiritual breaths. This past month I have really dove deep into the teachings of my spiritual path, which is opening many, many doors of consciousness within me. I have experienced much growth, and I am deeply grateful for. Yet I am finding that, as I reach for higher states of consciousness, and really begin to feel connected with God/dess, the lower armies of consciousness come at me in force to try and drag me back down. But, I just keep on plugging. I will not give up. Day in and day out. I am learning patience.

We live in a smaller home now, and are more comfortable. I can't believe we haven't always lived here. It feels like it. The two boys are doing okay - save for meltdowns here and there - and my beautiful daughter - my black diamond from Ethiopia - is a miraculous presence in my life.

I will rise

I came on this earth
born to turmoil pain anger suffering
rage
confusion
walking vulnerable through a battlefield
abused
crying
wishing I would die
that I was never
ever
born.

I came on this earth
to rise, to rise,
and rise
like a phoenix through the ashes
and remember my wings of
transcendent Love.

I came on this earth
on a great inner journey to
find my Teacher
and my home in Love.

I am on this earth to take up
my wings of freedom and fly
through the endless sky of
Omniscient Love
at One with the Divine Lover
who sent me.

I came on this earth to unleash
this flood of Love through me
to vanish the broken thoughts of
hate, the shattered dreams of sorrow,
and to awaken
to rise
and rise
and
rise again.

I came on this earth to remember
who I am
the Soul of Pure Love
at One with All Love
Everywhere.

I came on this earth to shatter
the false memory of being
a frail weak human being
and to take my place alongside
the Great Ones
to walk with Them,
hands in hand, smiling
together
the light of the One.

Am I naive? Am I insane?

Yes, you are, the pain of this world says.
You are nuts, for who are you
to think you are so good
so high and mighty?
Who are you to think you are better
than me?
You had better come back here
and let me hold you in my misery
wrap you in my ugly shame
and try and smother your spirit
kill your dreams forever.

And I say,
No.
NO!
NO YOU WILL NOT!

And whats more,
you will surrender!
You will surrender without terms.
Unconditional surrender!

I come on this battlefield with reinforcements
this time!

I come onto this battlefield with the Great Ones
of past and present and future
this time!

I came holding the hand of my Teacher
and his Teacher
and his!

Just as the mountain surrenders
eventually
to the drop of water

so you will surrender to the Omniscient Love
within me.

You will.

I may fall on this battlefield, yes, I may.
If I fall, broken and shattered,
arrows of pain sticking out of my guts,
one thousand times,
then one thousand and ONE times
I shall rise.

I shall rise again and again and
again.

For Love is patient

very

patient.

~~Daniel Peebles

Day 226 challenges challenges challenges

Emotional challenges

I am grateful to be continuing on this sacred journey of merging with and transmitting Universal Energy through my heart and hands for the benefit of all life. In the past two weeks, I have had some painful experiences with my family of origin, mainly my mom. I think I have processed it mostly, and I am not sure I am even ready to write about it, but I will see. I think for now, I am just going to "table it" in my mind, not go to deep into it now, and move on. Just to say that the most hateful things anyone has ever said to me in my 43 years of life came from my mom. Not just rude, but purely hateful. So I will go on processing everything, and trying to lift my consciousness, my heart, my soul, to a clear level of existence. The best parts about this whole thing: 1) It has inspired me to go deeper and further into my spiritual evolution, study, practice, and meditation, and 2) I didn't fight back. I didn't send hate back. And I won't. I may not ever speak to her again, but I won't meet her hate with more hate.

I keep on keeping on. It has been 7 months now, and I am very happy to be keeping my commitments. Reviewing the whole list from the beginning of the year, the only two things that have stayed are 1) transmitting the Energy/Love every day for 12 minutes at a time, and 2) doing my spiritual breaths. The eating one meal a day and the rest fell away. Those were the two main ones that I wanted to keep going on.

Day 212

This has been the longest break from journaling in this blog and recording my journey, but I am very happy to report that I have channeled/communicated the Love/Energy every day into this Quantum Healing Exchange every day for 212 days. I am really happy about that. I have also not missed a single day of doing my inner, spiritual breaths taught to me in my spiritual tradition. I have made it 7 months of a long, 144 month journey. Wow.

There have been times in the last month that I was so tired and exhausted, and I was so busy with moving, that all I could do is just place my hands on the book and open the cells and atoms and just ask the Energy to flow. I have been having a lot of sneaking thoughts about quitting, criticizing this project, trying to think of something to replace it. But to honor the person who began this journey in the deep winter of 2009-2010, I will continue. I will press on. Day in and day out, for 12 minutes at a time, I will endure. Even when I don't want to. I will continue.

I will also try and check in more often.

Day 165

I am so grateful for the power of Universal Love - and I am so grateful that I have communicated this Love into all the hearts, minds, souls, cells, atoms, of all those who are now contained here - for 165 days in a row. There have been times in the past month that I have felt like quitting, but I haven't. I am going strong in this daily 12 minute practice. I have also continued doing my mystical breaths - I am up to 48 breaths a day - which is really increasing my vibration dramatically.

I don't blog as much because we are moving, and my life is totally upside down. But this practice is keeping me tied to the Power of Universal Love. I feel great winds of change are blowing through my life - changes that feel good - I am hoping to experience a career transition that will allow me to get out of Kansas City and stay home a lot more. My dream job would be a healing practice - giving Reiki and Quantum Touch every day for a living - wow - would that be amazing or what!

Last year, I began this amazing 12 year journey - then made is 175 days and totally forgot to send the Love one day. Then the rest of the year I re-evaluated everything and started again on January 1, 2010. It has been an amazing 6 months so far. So much for having a year of "nothing going on!" Our lives are an incredible adventure!!

Ten more days and I will get past the 175 day mark... Yippee!!

Coming up for air

Wow... it has been since April 25, 2010 that I wrote anything in this blog. On April 30, we contracted to sell our home and to buy another one. Since then, it has been totally insane. I haven't missed a day of transmitting Love, or doing my breaths. I am feeling good about that. I want to write more, but I am a little insane. Moving is fun, and it isn't at the same time.

Breathe of Love (Day 115)

This week, I dedicate myself to losing myself in the Breathe of Love.

Breathing in, I open the cup of my heart like a flower turned up toward the sun. I pull my heart up into All Love Everywhere.

Breathing out, I pour Love, Light, Energy, Bliss, back down into my body, cells, atoms, and deeper - revealing to me the transparency of body and the true reality of who I am.

This week, I dedicate myself to taking these breaths - as many as I possibly can throughout the day and night. I pull my heart up into the Limitless Being of who I am with each deep breath in, and I shower myself with unconditional Love with each breath out.

Starting now: One full week of continuous LOVE-BREATHING.

beautiful, tear invoking session

Nice.

That was wonderful. I just transmitted the Love into this Exchange, and into the hearts and minds of all contained here. I could really feel the Love flowing through my heart and hands this time. The tears are all the proof I need that the Love is reaching everyone in this book.

I am writing a "Receiving Divine Love" whispering affirmation audio. In this audio, affirmations are recorded as whispers, and they are designed to allow the listener to deeply decide and consent to receive the Love, Energy, and Light flowing through this Exchange. To let ourselves be Loved unconditionally - that I think is the most powerful thing we can do.

There is so much Love that the Divine is pouring into us. It is up to us to allow that in. And it is this Love that I ask to flow through my hands - not the energy of this body and mind - but the Energy of Divine Love - but the Universal Transcendent, Transpersonal that I ask to flow through me.

I feel an enormous well of clear enthusiastic light pouring forth.

And I am grateful.

Long break - I am back and...

So is my enthusiasm for this Exchange.

It has been awhile since I have reported in. It is now day 105, and I still have not missed a day this year. I am ecstatic about that. Every day, I have held this Exchange between my Hands of Love, and every day I have communicated the Divine Energy to all contained here.

For the past few weeks, I have gone through a period of frustration and discouragement around this whole process. Thoughts of giving up, closing down the blog, putting the book away, came into my mind more than once. I am glad I hung in there, because now I feel absolutely fantastic about what I am doing.

I own nothing

I just had a great session of transmitting Universal Love, and I am feeling myself embark upon a deep, internal study of abundance and money. It seems that everyone has either negative or positive connotations around money. They either hate it, or grope after it like Schmeigel in the Lord of the Rings going after the ring.

I am realizing that I own nothing. Yeah, I make money. I put it in the bank for a little while. Then I give it away to others. I may collect a savings account, and collect this amount of money or that amount of money. But in the end - in the short dash - in the lightning strike that I am on this earth - I take no money with me. No money is put in my casket when I die. It all goes away from me in the end anyway.

SO... I am going to start developing a deep, intuitive, inner renouncement of money. I own nothing. I keep nothing. I am merely an empty vessel. A river bed through which abundance flows for the benefit of my family, community, and the world. I want to develop a detachment, a letting-go, a release around receiving money and around giving money. It comes to me freely. It leaves me freely. I don't push it away. I don't hoard it.

In this way, I think I can allow more abundance to flow to me, and through me.

Churn the butter of Love

Divine Mother
Universe
God
Beloved
The smile behind
the particles and waves of
this Sacred Universe...

I pray, screaming in ecstatic agony
that You feel this Love that I pour
through
these empty hands
this open heart.

In my life, I have collected worries
anxieties
fears
traumas...

I want to much to escape
this lake of uncertainty that my little
boat floats upon
pushed around by the waves of stress
and time.

I want so much to disappear into the light
gushing with pure ecstatic bliss
through this flimsy transparent dream
body.

I want to know that this Universal Energy
this Love
this Divine Bliss
is making a difference in the lives
of all I send this Love to...

Again I say:
most of all,
it is You - behind the faces of all
behind the smiles of all
within the tears of all
beating in the heart of all

it is You...
that I pray will feel this Love.

Inwardly I churn my heart
higher and higher,
more and more intensity,
my hands shaking,
tears streaming,
please, disappear,

please human dream body
disappear

reveal the light you are hiding...

and may You,
the smiling center of mystery

may You feel this Love
and may I feel that You
have received the shattered atoms
and cells of

this Love

Divine.

no more numbers

Okay, I think I am going to stop just numbering the days. Every now and then, I may look at a calendar and see what day I am on, just for fun. Instead, I am just operating under the assumption that I am not going to miss a day of transmitting Universal Love for the period of January 1, 2010 through January 1, 2022. That's my goal and I am sticking with it.'

81

Oh sweet Universe
I know your in there
in here

in the palms of these hands
in these cells, these atoms

deeper down

deeper down

all the way - I know You are in here.

I breathe my heart, my soul
open to You

and I witness You unfold in the palms
of my hands.

Galaxies,
Suns,
Moons,
Planets,
Endless Light,

is in here.

You unfold, and I pray,
the prayer that a river prays
as it dances down the landscape of dreams.

I pray that all will feel and will soak up
and will benefit

from the dance of this
water
Divine.

79

Spiritual questions

Is it possible for a question to spark, nurture, and help stir the awakening of our souls, our love, our native beingness?

For the past two years, I have written, re-written, and tweaked a set of 108 spiritual, meditative questions designed to help us awaken. And as of the last few days, I am feeling how much they are a part of this Exchange. I have been asking them, deeply reflecting them, and releasing them into my mind and body for the past few days, and I am about to start an official 108 day journey of asking them every single day.

There are 5 audios in all, and the 108 questions take about 9 minutes and 37 seconds to be asked. In meditations 1 and 2, they are repeated rapidly, one after the other, so that if you listen and repeat each question back to yourself, the next question will begin before you have had a chance to repeat it. It overlaps for this reason: the conscious mind gets tired because it wants to be in control, and as it is trying to repeat one question, and the next one begins, it goes back and forth between the two. This soon causes it to loosen its grip and relax, which allows the listener to sink into a deep and delicious, relaxed and wonderful state of mind.

In meditations 3 and 4, they are delivered into each hemisphere, each ear, in random order. It sounds like two sets of different questions, but they are the same list of 108 questions, but spoken in random order. This allows both hemispheres, and the intelligence and resources within each, to harmonize and go into a deep and transcendent state of mind and body.

Meditation 5 is semi-subliminal. You can barely hear the questions spoken, but they are mostly inaudible.

Finally, all the questions are saturated with Divine Energy/Love every day - so that as you absorb them, you are also soaking up this Energy into your cells, atoms, mind and heart.

The ultimate goal of these questions is to point the consciousness to that place beyond all thought, all time, all form, all dimension - so that we can live in the effortless grace of our divine beings.

More later...

74

All people in pain, please receive this Love flowing through my heart, hands - and through the heart and hands of all beings of light. It is time to end the suffering on this planet, and Love is the only medicine that can heal the wounds of loneliness, pain, and suffering.

I have gone through a lot of purging of anxiety, craziness, and general feelings of internal chaos this weekend. I am feeling much better. Yesterday was hard because I have been not getting enough sleep due to our new puppy that is sleeping in the room with Christine and I.

On my way to drop my two beautiful boys off at camp, this thought came to me:

Nothing UNREAL can ever be protected.
Nothing REAL can ever be harmed.
Love is REAL. Everything else is the grand dance of illusion.

69

I just had a great session of sending the Universal Love.

I am settling into a nice habit, a nice groove, a nice rhythm in doing my spiritual practices every day. I am feeling a sense of chaos, a sense of change, a sense of transformation lately. Locally, our kids elementary school almost closed, but ultimately didn't. After going to all those school board meetings, all those school board forum meetings, two public marches/gatherings - I have come to have a deeper love, respect, appreciation for my neighbors and friends. They are all such wonderful people, and I am proud to be a member of this community.

Anyway - all is well in LOVE SEND LAND!

61

I surrender my heart
mind
body
soul

to

L
O
V
E

59

Checking in...

It is now day 59 of this long journey of 1) quantumly transmitting Universal Love through my hands for at least 12 minutes every day in a row for 4,380 days (12 years), and 2) doing my esoteric breaths twice a day (from my own spiritual tradition) So far, I am ecstatic to say that I have made it. I am very grateful. Every day, I do three small meditations. In the morning, I do my light-breaths. Around noon or mid-afternoon, I transmit the Universal Energy, and in the late afternoon I do my light-breaths again. It is working well. I feel it is a solid habit now.

My prayer is that this Love is making a difference, and that I will let-go of being the "doer" and simply be the transparent window through which it flows....

Other things...

I have made a commitment to exercise for the next 90 days to get this body into better shape. It is week one of that endeavor. It involves 3 days a week of weights, push-ups and squats, and 3 days a week of cardio. SO FAR, I am feeling fantastic and strong. I think it is because of everything I am doing, plus the fact that I am using progesterone cream on my skin every night. I had heard that this natural hormone cream helps to raise DHEA levels in the blood. Whatever it does, I am not feeling sore the next day after intense workouts. I feel strong, bouncy, supple, just like I am in my 20's! In the summer of 2008, I tried this same regimen, and I was completely wiped out for days after each session with the weights. And now - I am not! Which is really making me happy, which brings me to this point: I believe that if we keep our bodies healthy and strong, we are more able to sense, feel, and direct life-energy, and we are more able to "see through" our bodies and realize their ultimate transparency.

Joining the Good News Gazette for 40 days....

The Good News Gazette will begin a 40 day program of holding the entire country and all our politicians from all spectrums of left and right in a field of compassion and love, beginning March 1, 2010. Here is my prayer:

I pray that all the love, deep in the core of each politician, each american, will unite for the best, the highest, and the greatest good of everyone in the United States and everyone in the world. I hold this political system in a field of love, I hold each person, each politician in this field of love, and I pray for the transmutation of fear, anger, hate - into genuine feelings of compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and love.

For more information about this 40 day event, click here

24 hours of AUM/OM

Today, I have decided to chant OM in every waking and dreaming moment, for 24 hours. May I chant, and may I feel, vibrate, and transmit this Universal Sound, on every level of my conscious, subconscious, and superconscious mind for the next 24 hours. May every cell join in the chorus of OM, my every atom, my every subatomic wave and particle of energy join in this ecstatic OM.....

50

For fifty days in a row, these hands have endeavored to be empty vessels through which the love of the whole universe can flow. I just experienced a wonderful session just now. With each deep breath, I imagined my heart opening and merging with the stars and galaxies of love - and with each exhaling breath, I inwardly let-go of my hands. I allowed the love to flow through them like light through a prism.

I am
grateful

for this beautiful flow
of love

beyond and in all moments
of time.

47

I just experienced a wonderful session of Universal Love crashing and flooding through my heart and hands. Love is the sole purpose of my existence. May all feel and benefit from this Love that flows silently AND invisibly and ecstatically through me.

May this body
disappear

And Love
take its place.

45

Breakthrough

For the past few days, I have been asking myself 108 deep, profound, spiritual questions that I have been writing and re-writing, and perfecting for the past year or so. I read through them in a deeply relaxed way this morning. A few minutes later, before I was to leave for the Sunday meditation service, I was looking on the internet at how Vice President Biden was verbally sparring with Dr. Evil, better known as former Vice President Dick Cheney. (half-way kidding about the Dr. Evil part). I mentioned it to Christine, and she wondered aloud why a former Vice President would attack a sitting president, and how "out of decorum" that was. Once she said that, I said, "well, that is just the way he is."

Then something deep and profound shifted in me. I loosened. Relaxed. I let-go. I felt myself shift back to a place of total acceptance. That's just the way Cheney is. Then this thought hit me a little while later:

It is what it is. Nothing can be done about it on the physical level that it appears to exist.

The whole point of "Cheney energy" is to draw me into the false belief that this world is really real. When I get mad, fume, fuss - and call him names - I get madder - and that is just what the energies of greed and anger want. The ego wants us to get angry - angry people feed off of people getting angry at them. They want, they need, they crave more anger.

For the first time in many years, I am not angry at Cheney. He just is. When I step back, relax, let-go, and allow him to just be what he is - then I am not emotionally drawn into the anger. I feel an openness, a freedom, a joy that tells me: the world, its illusions and problems, its wars and injustice, is not really real. It is a fiction, a slight of hand, a magic trick. My job is to learn compassion, love, understanding - and my ultimate job is to let-go, to transcend, to be who I am. To not be drawn into the drama of world events.

This brings me back to a John Grisham book I read, called The Appeal. (Spoiler alert!) In this book, the forces of greed and arrogance win. After reading feverishly through the book, I get to the end, and the bad guys win. I was disappointed, I felt robbed of all the time I spent racing to the end of the book, but there is a lesson here:

It is what it is. Nothing can be done about it on the physical level that it appears to exist.

If I get into the ring with the greedy corporations that have purchased our politicians and devour the earth and any human beings that get in their way - and I try and fight them on the level of their physical reality - I will lose every time. I am really getting it when Einstein said that the world's problems cannot be solved on the same level of consciousness that created them.

The world cannot be changed on the level of consciousness where the world exists. More specifically, I am not here to change the world, but to expand and heighten and transform my consciousness. To change the world, I believe we need to go to the causal level of consciousness and heal our own personal demons, our own greed, our own monstrousness, our own fear. To change the world, I believe we need to completely release the world, to let it go completely, to witness the world from our core spiritual consciousness as non-existent. Then the world will change gracefully before our eyes.

Or it won't.

And it doesn't matter - because - ultimately when the form of all we see passes from our sight, we will remain. Our consciousness, our souls, are eternal - and this play of light and sound - is a cosmic motion picture. We are the actors, and we are the audience.

40

I breathe in a circle.

Eyes closed, focused on the center of spiritual awareness between my eyebrows, slightly elevated.

Breathing in, I widen and expand the center of love in the middle of my spine, while also pulling it upward - to a place of consciousness beyond the body and beyond the conscious thinking mind. Merging with Universal Love

Breathing out, I pour that Love through my head, heart, hands - and into the pages of the Universal Life Force Energy Exchange - into all the beautiful smiling souls contained there - now - and all who will ever be contained there. I communicate Love through the Quantum Field - or Energy, Life-Force, whatever name is placed upon it. I communicate this Love and always, always endeavor to become nothing in this Love, no-thing, beyond all thoughts and all idea of being a body.

This is simple, but takes discipline.

Also, as I breathe in - slow and long - I imagine and intend that the curtains of my cells and atoms open up - allowing the magnificent Universe to peek through - and the Love - to shine through.

Revealing no body at all.

Today, let me keep this breathing rhythm up in every moment.

35

Emptiness reveals ~ Love beyond ~ form

As the gentle sunlight of Love begins to peek through the tiny doorways of my atoms, I let go, become empty, and allow this Love to flood through me. I am nothing. Let me be nothing. Let me realize the nothingness of this physical body so that I can discover who I am. Existence itself is a grand illusion. Time is a passing dream, nothing more. All these minutes, hours, days, deadlines, bills - all passing fancy to the soul. It is all entertainment.

I just transmitted the Universal Love: breathing deeply and continuously, I opened my heart and allowed it to ascend and expand on each inhaling breath - and I let go and allowed the Love to flood through me on each exhaling breath. I endeavor, each time, to disappear. May this Love wash away the mountains of my illusions just like water weathers the physical mountains - or better yet - may Universal Love swell like a light within the mountain - allowing it to dissolve from within.

Love is the nectar that dissolves the illusion that the physical human body is real - that these cars and roads and computers are real. To me, I am realizing that this body is merely a shell of atoms and cells - energy really - constructed by the mind for me to learn and grow and become the Love that I am.

Today, I felt my body melt into the consciousness of Love - and I felt the Love, like thousands of piercing lights - explode in ecstasy in all directions. I send this Love to the Earth, the soil, the plants, the animals, the people - all for the purpose of sending it deeper into the Divine - God - Goddess - The Great Comforter - contained within it all.

May all contained in these Reiki Pages of this book, feel and receive this Love - this Healing Life-Force Energy - for their ultimate benefit. I quantumly communicate this Love to all life on this Earth. May this body, this breath, finally reveal itself to me as nothing more than a window...

empty...

open....

space...

where pure Love - pure Light - can simply flow to benefit life.

34

My journey continues to deepen, expand, and to grow. I am grateful, that for 34 days, I have endeavored to extend Universal Energy through my heart and hands every day so far. I have been busy with my day job lately. And busy chanting the Lakshmi Mantra with wonderful results in prosperity and abundance.

Everything is already gone

So many times during the day I get a strong sense that everything is already gone. My body has already disintegrated. This house I live in, and raise these beautiful children in, and love this beautiful woman in, and get frustrated in, and laugh and cry in, and grow old in - has ALREADY fallen to the ground. Its the future. All of this is a memory of my soul. Just a memory. And the soul that I am - the Transcendent Self - is looking back upon these memories like looking into gentle waves ripping across a pond on a sunny day.

Ultimately, I believe that, and quantum physics is beginning to actually prove, nothing is actually really REAL. It's all a fantasy world, a holo-deck, a dream of our souls. The only thing that is real is the Love we choose to give unconditionally, the Love that we choose to allow ourselves to receive without restriction, and the Love that we ultimately realize, is who we are. This Love, this Energy, this Joy, this Quantum Soup - I am grateful to *send* to *communicate* to all contained in this dream pages of this dream book in this dream world.

Cleansing diet

For the next several weeks, I am eating 6 small, powerful meals a day - nothing on top and nothing in between. I am already feeling some clarity from it. I have always gotten a lot of growth, internal mostly, from the act of a cleansing diet. I shook Sky's hand this morning and told him I would eat these bars only for the next week. By shaking his hand, I really made the commitment - because he will really DIG IT IN if I fall off the cleansing diet wagon! I don't want to hear him teasing me, so I am sticking with it. I am loving the deeper feelings of energy and light and the deeper consciousness I feel already.

How is my consciousness growing?

Or, should I say, how am I disappearing? As I disappear in Love, I awaken in truth. My goal is to consciously choose to have my body disappear into Love - sounds nuts - probably too crazy for many. I am completely sane, honest I am! My point is this: In the deeper levels of reality, the body and all objects in the world are merely illusions that are constantly arising and disappearing from the depths of our consciousness. So my goal is to heighten my body's vibration to the point that it begins to reveal to me the flower of its non-existence.

I love Christine, Sorin, Liam, Sky, Prasad, Amelie and my boxer puppy Hanuman, Emily, Lakshmi our Chi, and Zeke and Gaia, our cats - with all my heart and all my soul.

I want to serve each member of this family - beginning with my wholehearted commitment to loving Christine more deeply, more powerfully, more spiritually. Our relationship is a flower that has weathered several storms and has grown more beautiful over these last 10 years. I remember, even before we met physically, after we hung up the phone from talking to each other, saying to myself "I am going to love her for the rest of my life."

And I am. I love you, Christine. In love, I am you. You are me. May we forever commune in the reality of our love - blossoming in the sight of the Great Mother of the Universe!!! I never knew, before we met, that I would ever have a chance to love someone over a long period of time. Now I do. And part of this long-term process is loving myself, completely and unconditionally - because as I do - I am loving you.

May all the Love I channel into this Exchange pour into our marriage and make our love grow stronger and more powerful every single day for the next 12 years!!

30

I have chanted Om-Shrim-Maha-Lakshmi-yei-Swaha 5,184 + times in 6 days, and I feel a deeper connection to the Feminine Principle of Abundance - to the Endless Universal Supply. I chant this Mantra to attune myself to the energy of abundance - and more than anything else - to make a personal, deep, heartfelt connection with the Divine Mother as expressed through the Goddess of Wealth - Lakshmi.

Each repetition of this sacred mantra, I dedicate and transmit into this Exchange - may all contained here experience spiritual wealth, mental and creative wealth, emotional and relationship wealth, health and energy wealth, and material and money wealth. May we all realize how rich we are in spirit, and may these spiritual riches translate perfectly into all other kinds of wealth.

I realize - deeply and completely - that I own nothing. Yes, money can be "deposited" into a bank account associated with my name on a computer. But ultimately, it is only in my "name" for a short time, and ultimately, I take none of it with me when I die. So I own nothing. Money stays here, in this world of illusion, as an illusion. Love goes with me - the love I give is stored in my spiritual bank that I take with me into eternity.

Having said that - and with this understanding - it is okay to temporarily have as much or as little of money that I wish. As it comes to me, I give it away. While I have it - may I imbue that money with spiritual energy and riches so that everyone else who touches or is impacted with that money - feels and receives these blessings as well.

So - in the name of the Feminine Principle of Abundance - I am deeply grateful that this last week has been much more prosperous than the dry desert of the weeks before. Thank you!

Transmitting the Universal Love

Today is day 30 of my 4,380 day journey of 1) transmitting the Universal Love every day in a row for at least 12 minutes ad a time, and 2) doing my spiritual breaths as I have learned from my spiritual teacher. I haven't missed a day, and I am feeling really ecstatic. I am feeling the Love thunder and crash and pour and flood and cascade through my mind and body - through the quantum openings in my hands - and into these pages - into and through the higher selves - and into the minds and bodies of all within this Universal Life Force Energy Exchange.

I am an Energy Therapist, a sacred Transmitter of Universal Healing Energy/Love. This is my life's work, my life's passion. Everything I do in this world, I do to attract people with whom I can silently give this love to - unconditionally - and over this 12 year period of time. When I sandwich this book between my hands, breath open my heart to the Universe, and allow this Love to flood through my hands - my goal is to let go of the thought of being a body completely - to disappear into nothing - so that only LOVE IS. Nothing, for me, is more ecstatic.

Nothing is more ecstatic than to flood Love through the human body with such intense devotion and force that the human body itself reveals to me its magnificent non-existence. As Love gushes and pounds and thunders through every atom of this human body - the body flowers in ecstatic nothingness.

27

Om Shrim Maha Lakshmiyei Swaha, (prounounced Om, Shreeem-Maha-Lock-shmee-yay-Swa-ha)

On Monday, I chanted this mantra 864 times. I chanted it again on Tuesday for 864 times. And I am on my way to another 864 repetitions today. I chant this mantra to manifest wealth in all forms in my life: wealth of spiritual awakening and growth, wealth of a clear, creative mind, wealth of a healthy strong body, wealth of love and intimacy in all my relationships, and wealth in finances and money. I surrender this book, this Exchange, to the Divine Universal Mother, expressed through Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth. I will chant this Mantra 864 times a day for the next 40 days - for the purpose of deepening my consciousness of oneness with the Divine Goddess. Each Mantra is a gift to Her. This will equal 34,560 repetitions.

My purpose is to dive into the Vibration of the Mantra - to merge my whole mind, body, emotions, and energy into the deepest truth of the Mantra. To have every cell, every atom of my body, singing the Mantra. To install it with powerful intensity into my consciousness that I begin to become the Mantra - to let go - and allow the Mantra to become me - to where I am chanting it consciously, subconsciously, and superconsciously.

The secret: is to become one with HER - the Divine One - the Giver of Life, Love, Wisdom, and Wealth. To become one with the Universe. To shed the illusions from my consciousness that prevents me from seeing and feeling this oneness. May each repetition be an act of Love to Her - a pouring out to her - an emptying. May I Love HER more than Her gifts - which are infinite. In this devotion - in this Love - I allow myself to receive, because I deserve it.

I dedicate this book and all the pages in it to making victorious the power of Love in this world - and Lakshmi - She is all giving, generous Love. May SHE bring into these pages all those people who can benefit from the Love/Energy pouring through my hands, and through the hands of many others.

23.1

My spiritual job in this life is to be a transmitter of Universal Healing Life-Force Energy, or Love. My "day" job is being a lawyer - a sole practitioner in general practice - and in terms of finances - this has been one tough month. I go in and out. One day, I keep up a great attitude of gratitude. The next, I am in the dumps. I am glad that Christine and I go into the dumps when the other person is feeling good. Yesterday was a rough one for me. Today, I am so grateful, because this is my real job.

My real job is to drop into the Quantum Unified Field of Love, and communicate this Love to others for their highest healing, good, joy, and abundance. Today, I totally re-affirmed my commitment to give this Love/Energy through my hands every day in a row for 12 years. Again, I am so grateful because this Love feels so beautiful, so ecstatic, as it flows through my hands.

I "sent the Love" twice today - this last time I did a 30 minute session. I felt so good, so incredible. This Love - this Energy - this is the Source of real wealth for me. And it stirs my heart to refer to the Divine as "Mother" or the "Goddess" - but ultimately words are words. I believe it is all the Same.

Not sure what I am saying, or even trying to say. I feel really joined with this Love right now - and tears flow free.

23

Dear Mother Universe, break apart the cells and atoms of this body-illusion... let the love flow free... let the love flow free... oh please... please... dissolve me... let the love flow free...

May these hands of mine... be not hands any more... but waves upon waves of bliss and light... love and freedom... truth and wisdom. I dedicate these hands, oh Universal Mother, to the light and joy cascading, pounding, exploding through them. May these hands cease to exist in their illusory, dream form... may I see them as mere windows, through which the river of true Universal, Omniscient Love can flow free... for the benefit of all contained in this Exchange.

May every last person in my book feel this Love in their hearts, minds, and bodies... and receive this Love for their highest and greatest good. Let me disappear in this process, disappear... may I become a mere drop in the river...

21

Twenty one days into a four thousand three hundred eighty day journey. Wow. I am plodding along, with little baby steps, into eternity. Lately, I have been experiencing a major lull in income - to the point where I go through major periods of total stress. Yet, I am very grateful for every penny that comes to me, because it all comes from the Divine. I am one with the Divine. One with inexhaustible supply. I must deepen my knowing of this oneness during these walks through the desert.

20

To hold an inner reality firmly in the center of mind, even though what appears on the outside doesn't yet reflect that inner reality - here is true growth. I have been focusing deeply and holding an inner picture, an inner blueprint of abundance - and on the outside - my law practice appears at the moment to be a barren landscape of frozen earth. However, today, I feel the inner reality much stronger. Let me try and word it differently:

We grow immensely as creative beings when we can hold deep and fast to an inner reality - even though what is going on around us doesn't jive with it. Creating our reality can take time, and the lag time between when we form our deepest intentions, and when the world begins to reflect those intentions, can be arduous. But it is in this hallway that we grow the most.

I am so honored, and so grateful to say YES to extending Universal Love through my wide open hands and heart - to everyone in my book, to all of life. In my diamond heart of exploding, ecstatic love, I know that the Love I extend into life makes a difference. One way or another, this Love, this Energy, is helping the world to evolve. All I can do is say THANK YOU to this River.

15

I am so deeply honored, humbled, and grateful to feel Universal Love flowing through my wide open heart and relaxed hands for the greatest healing benefit and good of all contained in this Energy Exchange. I pray that my hands will disappear into the light of Love - and that Love will be all that remains. I am now 15 days into this 12 year journey. I have communicated Love every day so far. Haven't missed a day. And I am feeling the ecstasy and the sweet joy of Love flood through me even more. I feel the Energy - and as my heart expands even more in gratitude - tears fall - and I know I am right where I need to be. In my heart of hearts - I know that this Universal Life-Force Energy, this Quantum Love, is making an impact on all those I "send" it to. I just know it. I can't see it. I communicate the Love - then let go.

It is better, really, that I don't personally know most of the people I am sending the Love to - in this way I can be the silent giver - totally anonymous. I am so grateful, so deeply grateful to the point that my heart feels crushed in joy for the privilege of giving this Love.

Thank you, thank you, thank you

12

I am
emptiness.

In
emptiness
I feel
compassion
I
feel
the River

11

That which I choose to create, to manifest, to make real in my life - if I first let go of it - release it internally even before it shows up in my life - then that makes it more likely to come to me.

I do not grasp, but allow.

10

I breathe deeply in - expand my heart - and I step out of time
and into love.

I breathe smoothly out - and through my wide open heart - I transmit that love
to all moments of time.

Love is the
one
transcendent
eternal
now

that encompasses all moments of time
within
itself.

9

I am feeling the energy of gratitude, like warm rivers of tears, washing through my heart. I am so deeply grateful for so much. I am blessed beyond measure. I am rich beyond limitation. I am one with all love. One with all joy. One with all abundance. Every day now - this will be my third - I have been deeply going over everything and everyone I am grateful for - and I keep doing this until I begin to cry. Now, the gratitude is warmed up, like molasses that has been heated, and its flowing freely. I can cause myself to cry at a moments notice - just by thinking of people I am grateful for - how beautiful and wonderful they are. Even people I knew long, long ago. I have been blessed with the presence of so many angels in my life.

Gratitude is truly the magical elixir - and I am using this powerful, transcendent, extremely resources emotion to create abundance in my life. A grateful heart knows how rich it is - regardless of whatever material wealth appears to be. An ungrateful heart can be surrounded with mansions and material wealth beyond measure, but still live in a shrunken dungeon of fear and poverty. We are rich because we love, and are loved - for love is the gold we carry within - deep in the sacred chambers of our hearts.

7.1

I am so grateful... SO GRATEFUL...

As I drove Liam and Prasad through the frigid 9 degree weather for lunch at Sonic... I started going over in my mind what I was grateful for... and one thing led to another. It became a snowball, and tears of gratitude poured down my face. I am so rich. I am so wealthy. I have so much to be thankful for. I have been blind so many times in my life to all these riches, all this wealth of love and joy and miracles, and all this wealth of material possessions as well. I am so blessed. So... I have decided to consciously and deliberately shed tears of gratitude every day for the rest of 2010! I can do this while I drive - God knows spending hours a day and 30 to 40 thousand miles a year on the roads of the Kansas City Metro area - I have plenty of time to spin and churn my heart of gratitude to the point of crying. Tears of gratitude are potent - and they cause the Universe to really listen to us, and to respond.

7

Time is running smoothly. Seven days into this journey, I am feeling more and more centered into the depth of love within me. I am discovering the manifesting power of love: to "place" what I wish to manifest between my hands - and to flood the power of Universal, Cosmic Energy and Love into that - and to churn the heart of gratitude so deeply that the whole Universe feels that gratitude of mine. I am so grateful that... as I breathe deeply, continuously, opening my heart to Universal Love - and pouring that Love into what I am grateful, in advance, has come into my life. Love is the most awesome, powerful, manifesting force in the Universe. Whatever I place between my hands and consistently send this Love into - will - and has already - manifest.

5

The cracks and crevices of our fragility are perfect open spaces through which the river of our magnificent love can flow into form, into manifestation. I vow to be vulnerable, open - through which I find the invincibility of pure love.

4

Breathing in, I open the energy portals in my hands to the Quantum Unified Field of Love.... Breathing out, I let go and allow that Love to flow through my hands and be communicated where it will. My job, my only job, is to open, allow, and let-go. To become nothing, no-thing, through which this Energy can be communicated.

I am not here.

It just appears to be so. There is no body - there is only this shape and this form that I have agreed with others to be real.

Appearances are not real - only Love is real.

Love IS. I am. Love IS all that I am. In Beingness, there is no here or there, where or when - there is only I AM - which is everywhere and nowhere. Let me remember the no-thingness of my body - so that I can know - always - that I am Love.

3

To master love, I first must allow love to master me.

2

Time is an illusion created by the mind trapped in fear and guilt. Our fear of the illusory-future become the guilt of our dream-past. When we step into love, we instantly realize that time never was. When we step into love, we step out of time, and simultaneously, we can step into any point in time. Love is beyond - and love permeates all of time.

As I breathe slowly and deeply in, I open my atoms, mind, heart, and body to love beyond time.

As I breathe slowly and deeply out, I rest in freedom.

1

There is only one now. One moment. This one. This now is so big, so massive, that the whole eternal ocean of love can flow through it.

When the ocean of love is flowing through me, I realize that there is no place where my body ends, and love begins. There is only the ecstatic flow.